Some people are naturally good friends. They give off a warm, "call-me-anytime, do-you-need-a-shoulder-to-cry-on, mi-casa-es-su-casa" vibe. These people smile and you just know in your gut that everything will turn out alright, no matter what happens. A hug from a naturally good friend will do more good than thousands of dollars in therapy fees. These people are sweeter than pure cane sugar.

I am not a good friend.

I will forget to call you back. I won't reply to your emails for weeks. If you IM me while I'm away, I will not reply "What's up?" three hours later. I will make plans with you and flake. I will say I'm busy when you ask me to lunch and will instead do nothing but lay in bed rereading old paperbacks. I'm naturally solitary.

I borrow your clothes without asking. I eat your food without replacing it. I bend the pages of your books to mark my place. I forget to pay you the ten bucks you're owed. I keep your DVD for months before returning it to you. I covet your possessions. I see no point in saying please and I will forget to say thank you. I'm naturally selfish.

I have people in my life who are naturally good friends. I learn from them. It's hard, but I am trying. I make mistakes and they forgive me and help me get better, as naturally good friends tend to do. One day, I may be the Splenda of friends. Not all natural, but derived from the best, the purest. A substitute for the real thing.

Splenda tries too hard. The texture is all wrong, and so is the color, so it's twice as sweet to make up the difference. Instead of being more like the real thing, these extra efforts do nothing but make the differences more apparent. Sometimes I think I do the same. But, as some are willing to accept Splenda, so I hope others will come to accept me.

Obvious saccharine sweetness and all.


Simon said...

So then only use half as much. Once things are dissolved it makes no difference anyway. Then it'll be just as sweet!!! winston-face.

sasstastic said...

I will try that and will update if there is any progress. Thanks, Bolt!